just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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