rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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