god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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