I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
