and she was petting her beer can
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
