He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
