i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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