I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
My pussy is not your playground.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
