I just saw a hot homeless man
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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