Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
