did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Randomize
