my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
