he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
