Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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