You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
