No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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