no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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