I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
