how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
