so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
