my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
my liver is dry heaving
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize