We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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