It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Will you blow on my dice?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
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