sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
