Sacagawea was the original milf.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
