i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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