At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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