I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
