I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Randomize
