Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
