i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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