He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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