what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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