how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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