My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
