that's an acceptable place to lick
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
