Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
