If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
OPIZZABONMYDICK
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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