apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize