I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
