We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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