theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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