R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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