What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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