okay pat passed out under dana's car
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
