dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
