I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
