this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
