i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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