I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
