Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
