is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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