I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
