shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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