You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
