I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
