He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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