Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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