So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
