piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
