I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
