kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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