either way he was missing a nipple.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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