I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize