Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
