so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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