i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
This is my gift to your gina
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
